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Why Do We Crave Success, But Hate To See It In Others

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Credit: Socialnewsdaily.com

Credit: Socialnewsdaily.com

Why Do We Crave Success, But Hate To See It In Others

Back in the New Year, I joined a world-wide affiliate group with an aim to be part of a team of like-minded entrepreneurs, with a view to giving each other encouragement and moral support.

All is going well so far, and I have made a few good friends over the past few months. I have helped some people out where I can, and also received help from others when I have needed it. It is a great source of support and wisdom that I am happy to have discovered.

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Lovely as the other members are, I cannot help but feel a little frustrated when I hear of their success. We have a little ritual you see. Whenever a new member achieves their first sale from their new affiliate site, the news gets posted on the community board so that everyone can congratulate their success, post their good wishes, and to dissect and share exactly how they did it.

Now, I know that although I get frustrated at the news of another’s success, that is as far as it goes. Deep down I know that I am genuinely pleased for them, and only hope their success continues. But the same cannot be said for others.

I know someone who, as soon as they saw success with their brand new website, had people turn on them. People that up until that point had been friendly and encouraging. Is it down to jealousy? Maybe, but it seems a waste of energy to me to spend time tearing someone down rather than to focus on strengthening your relationship with them, and collaborating with them to help build up your own .

Sabotage Is Just Human Nature, Isn’t It?

You may have seen similar behaviour yourself in the workplace. I bet you know someone who has been on a diet, or has wanted to give up smoking or drinking, only to have their efforts challenged by others bringing in cakes to share at work, or buying a round of drinks at the pub – “Go on…one drink/cigarette/cake wont hurt you”.

The key to dealing with this sort of behaviour, when you see success and have it happen to you, is to grow a thick skin, roll your eyes and ignore it. Keep one ear open for those genuine people who don’t try to tear you down, and focus on building genuine relationships with them instead.

Build Your Network

We may work alone as entrepreneurs quite a lot of the time, but we are not islands. It is not all about marketing your own business that counts, it is also about building a supportive network of like-minded business owners. Helping each other out can bring in dividends that you may never have considered before.

By teaming up with your competition instead of tearing them down, you can open up your business to more potential customers, have the opportunity to build up your subscriber numbers, or take on spare work from them if and when they become swamped.

Networking can be critical to the growth of your business, as well as your personal growth too.

It is good to have a network of friends around you that can support you when you are feeling less than confident about the progress of your business. Their advice and encouragement can keep you afloat and moving forward when you are on the verge of giving everything up.

Starting and growing a small business can take a lot of time and effort, but you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls and mistakes by building a network of like-minded people around you, and learn from their own experiences through shared knowledge.

You may want to jump into your first advertising campaign, but asking for feedback or advice from your network before you dive in can help you to see your efforts from a different perspective.

It is also very likely that someone within your network has already been exactly where you are, and you can draw on their experience to better target your marketing campaigns to make them more effective.

So, learn to cooperate with your successful competition to achieve the same results for yourself, while at the same time grow a thick skin to shun those who see your own success as a threat, and try to tear you down.

Freelance article writer, ghost writer, ebook author, lifestyle blogger, affiliate marketer, book cover digital artist, home educator, always learning student of the world.

  • valery satterwhite
    August 31, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Great article, thanks! Shadenfreude, or getting enjoyment out seeing struggle and failure in others, is a common human response. It’s a misguided way of coping with any feelings that you or your business simply isn’t “good enough” in one way or another. In the days of self-promotion, even as an entrepreneur, people tend to put their “A reel” out on the social networks – all the good stuff, sometimes exaggerated, and hide the not-so-good stuff. So what we see as the reality of the world around us is an edited version of the truth. Successful entrepreneurship is a mindset more than it is anything else. It is the ability persevere, preserve or pivot as we navigate the trials and tribulations of the journey to success. It’s the ability to measure oneself by one’s own values and achievement rather than a perceived status of anyone, or anything, else. Our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with however we define success and money and our relationship with how we see our place in the world directs how we react to the success or struggle or another. Success, and the ability to appreciate the success of others, is an inside job.

    • lobsterdm
      September 13, 2015 at 3:12 pm

      Hi Valerie, thanks for your comments. You make really interesting points. I’m guilty of ‘shadenfreude’ as I guess most people are.

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